Work must have known I was struggling because I received a phone call from them late one night. Basically they said I came back to early and not to go in the following day and they will be in touch. It felt like a kick in the teeth, I was trying to get back to work but they had other ideas. And the subject was not up for discussion.
I was on the sick once again, I wasn't happy, I felt useless, I'd had enough. I did what could only be considered a stupid thing, (I'm not going to go into details at the moment). It put my relationship with my girlfriend at risk and because of that, that is the only reason I regret what I did.
I needed help. The local health trust mental health services came to my aid, an appointment was made and I attended.
I felt the appointment helped, things were said and referrals were made. Things were moving forward.
All I had to do now was get back to work. I wrote them letters saying I hadn't heard anything from them and to get in contact with me. A few weeks later I received a letter, they wanted a meeting. I expected the worst, I thought they were going to sack me.
Well the meeting came and I was pleasantly surprised. They wanted to know what I wanted, I told them. I wanted to come back to work, I wanted to go back driving and I wanted to go part-time. They agreed to it all. Fantastic.
I returned to work the following week, I had to do 3 days of refresher training, but I was out and about driving. The assessor told me that he had no problems with my driving and that my procedures were spot on. Great.
So here I sit, in Starbucks on my day off. My refresher training complete. I am now looking forward to returning to work and getting out driving. Hopefully going part-time will give me that work/home balance that I really need. It will allow me to spend more time with my daughter and my girlfriend and I won't be too tired to enjoy the little things.
