Three weeks ago I went in for an operation on my left knee, an osteoarticular autograph.
For my recovery from this operation I have to wear a leg brace and for the first three weeks I couldn't bend my leg more than 30°. During the first three weeks I also couldn't weight bare on my left leg.
After my recent visit to physiotherapy I can now bend my leg to 60° and I'm allowed to place my left foot on the floor, but I still can't weight bare on it.
As a result of this I can't drive, I rely on my girlfriend to take me anywhere. I don't use public transport for personal reasons and getting around on my crutches is extremely tiring and painful. I've now developed an impact injury in my right foot from over compensation. Basically, getting around now causes me pain.
As my girlfriend has to work nights I find myself going to bed alone. On her return home she goes to bed after a long, hard and tiring shift. This again leaves me downstairs alone. Especially now since the girls have gone back to school.
I find myself confined between the four walls of the house. The last weekend was especially tough as I had to miss out on a weekend away with 203 Field Hospital.
Most of you know Gnr Faulkner, he is my companion. I don't have many friends, I have no friends that live close to me and could pop in for a brew. Sad I know, but I've grown to accept this fact. Gnr Faulkner keeps me company and helps me through my low times, one of which I'm currently going through. Some of you may take the piss or even form an opinion of me that may not be very nice, but as I've stated in a previous post, I don't care. Gnr Faulkner and many of you on Twitter (you know who you are) are helping me through the tough times of my depression.
I may be mad, I may be immature at times but that's who I am.
I still find myself going through a tough time at the moment, I know there are those out there who have it worse off than me, but everyone is different and deals with life in their own individual way. I hate feeling alone like I do at the moment. I just want to thank those of you on twitter who have supported me through my problems.
You're not mad, not at all. It's one thing to have depression and have that impact your life but to have to undertake that kind of operation which is further limiting what you can do is very difficult to deal with and you're doing well. The blog is a great idea to express how you feel. I personally think it's very brave to share your feelings through a blog.
ReplyDeleteIf people want to form an opinion against you then that's their beef and for them to deal with.
Take care - you'll get there.
Gemma x
I don't know anyone in my area either. Sometimes I feel like I must have not made the effort or done something wrong so I occasionally get cabin fever as you've just described! But I think it's just "life" sadly that if you are busy there's not really time to just chat amiably to the neighbours like in 1950s cartoons!
ReplyDeleteYou will NEVER be alone as long as you keep talking and do not bottle it up. And if GNR Faulkner helps, so be it, you are not hurting anyone. Keep Smiling and talking
ReplyDelete