Sleep is Not for the Weak

I don't think I'm ever going to be able to get enough sleep to see me through the day. A symptom of my depression is my inability to sleep, I have difficultly dropping off to sleep, or if I do sleep it's a disturbed sleep, waking up every hour or so. When my alarm then goes off I want to throw it at the wall and just remain where I am. It's not a good way to start a day, needing to sleep.

I give myself 15 minutes from the time my alarm goes off to having to leave the house of work, otherwise I will be late and have to suffer the wrath of the managers. I do this to try and get in as much rest as I possibly can. On the downside it means I have to get my backside out of the bed as soon as that damn alarm chimes.
I don't feel myself falling asleep when driving or doing other work, it's just the constant lack of energy and the want to just lie down and try and sleep.



When out in the truck I use my break to attempt to catch up on sleep. One major downside to this is that the bunk in the cab is right next to the motor for the fridge on the trailer. It's like trying to sleep with some running a petrol lawnmower in your bedroom. It's difficult and for me usually impossible.

I hope one night I will fall asleep and wake up having had the sleep I need, feeling fantastic and wanting to get up and get out there. For the time being I'm just going to have to struggle on, until one day I run out of energy and snap (it's happened before), your mind does some strange things when you're exhausted, but that's another blog.

I'm now off to have an argument with the sandman, see if he can do his job. Unlikely.